McBRAAM Stage 3: Blythe, CA to Congress, AZ..."Is that you,Taz?"

371.7 miles ridden.
12,372 feet climbed.

In cycling, there's a well wish often cited, "May you have tailwinds and downhills all the way." If you had to settle for only one of two, which one would it be? We got the tailwind half. And some whirlwinds too. One was so prolific I thought for sure that Taz was about to materialize in front of me.

Maybe somebody can enlighten me why anybody would camp for a week in the middle of the desert where the only plants are prickly, the only insects sting, the only snakes are poisonous, and the only water is found in plastic. Of course, one might also ask why anybody would ride their bicycle through the aforementioned countryside. I pondered this today as I had plenty of time to do so, but never found the words of enlightenment.

I will say, though, that the saguaro cactus is quite amazing. They take 75-100 years just to sprout their first arm, and some never do. So, if patience isn't your thing, you might want to grow roses instead. You still get the prickly feature, but with much earlier gratification.

Congress is a quaint little stop along the highway, and we managed a 1 bedroom apartment by accident at the only hotel in town. Cindy, the proprietor, was booked up tonight, so she gave us the Sierra Vista special. She's also looking to sell the whole enchilada for $375,000, so if you're looking for a sure (hot as) fire turn-key business, maybe this is for you. When I first called her, I had to leave her a message because she was out riding her Quad in the desert. When she called me back, I asked her why she was selling her hotel, and she told me she wanted to retire. I said, "Let me get this straight. You ride your Quad any time you want, have the only hotel within 15 miles, have a revenue stream...what do you retire too? Sounds like you're there already."  She laughed and replied, "When you put it like that, I guess I am, and my price just went up to $500,000."

https://www.strava.com/activities/1212649928
https://www.relive.cc/view/1212649928

3 - consecutive days of dirt hard pack ridden
5 - servings of maltodextrin along the way
1 - very impressive desert whirlwind sighted

Hotel: Sierra Vista Hotel, 5 of 5 stars (got the special apartment with extra bedroom and full kitchen).
Restaurant: Nichols West, 3 of 5 stars (this was supposed to be the classy place in town...it wasn't).

McBRAAM Stage 2: Palm Springs, CA to Blythe, CA..."Fried brain cells and spent legs."

255.9 miles ridden.
7,986 feet climbed.

I've ridden further, and I've ridden in hotter temps, but I've never ridden in as hot of temps for as long. I promised myself I would not turn this into a weather report, and I won't, but today was notable because, well, it was insane. Suffice it to say, that after the first couple of hours, the thermometer broke 90, then flirted with triple digits pretty much the rest of the day. We were drinking water like fish and popping electrolytes like candy. It was so hot and dry that the trees were bribing dogs.

We rode through a very interesting area along the north shore of the Salton Sea. Running northeast while climbing out from about 180 feet below sea level, there is a long canyon of otherworldly rock formations, similar to what you see in Southern Utah.

We rode into Blythe in the dark, and were too knackered to do anything but detox ourselves and crawl into a restaurant booth. Hence the belated post. Sorry about that, but Pops almost had to carry us back to the room and tuck us in...just like old times.

https://www.strava.com/activities/1211404452
https://www.relive.cc/view/1211404452

1 flat tire - yesterday's jinx comes home to roost
23 water bottles drunk - don't try that on a wintry sedentary day
0 pictures taken - phone circuitry rebelled to function in the heat

Hotel: Clarion Inn, 3 of 5 stars (average size room but excellent breakfast).
Restaurant: Sizzler, 3 of 5 stars (very good salad bar but average entree).

McBRAAM Stage 1: Newport Beach, CA to Palm Springs, CA..."In-N-Out makes for good ballast"

119 miles ridden.
4,705 feet climbed.

Ride 1 is in the books, no mishaps and no feau pas, so we'll count this as a victory. Somewhere around mile 90 and somewhere around Banning, we succumbed to the gravitational pull of In-N-Out. Not generally a wise move, loading up on burgers and fries during a long and hot ride, it actually proved advantageous as the remaining miles were all downhill and aided by a tailwind. Hmm, downhill and tailwinds, isn't that cycling nirvana?

Big takeaway is the likelihood that the riders are suspect, but they have a secret weapon, the world's greatest SAG man. At least that's what his shirt says.

https://www.strava.com/activities/1209493214
https://www.relive.cc/view/1209493214

1 - Wrong turn, but it wasn't the turn into In-N-Out.
4 - Energy bars eaten.
0 - Flat tires (probably just jinxed us, but it's written).

Hotel: Delos Reyes, 2 of 5 stars (small, old room and sub-par breakfast options).
Restaurant: Elmer's Restaurant, 2 of 5 stars (barely a cut above Denny's).

How This Adventure Began

It really started about 40 years ago. We spent a good bit of those lazy summer days riding our 10-speeds back and forth to the Scottsboro community center. Softball, ping-pong, box-hockey, and an occasional game of croquet ball burnout kept us out of trouble while filling our time between the weekly lawn mowings. Mine was a yard sale special Huffy Scout with parts bought from Big K and a personally, but not perfectly, executed custom bright blue spray paint finish. His was a white Raleigh Grand Prix, bought used from a 6'4" basketball player, making it long on fit and miles, but short on gears due to its missing front derailleur.

Those were days before gps, cyclometers and drivers licenses, so we never really knew how far we rode or how many feet we climbed, and the only limit to our noodling was dinner time. Speaking of dinner, it was probably during one on one particular summer evening when the topic came up of a family vacation up to Toledo. This was not unusual, as we normally made one or two trips each year from Nashville to visit relatives. What was unusual was that the two of us decided it would be fun to start a week early on our bikes instead of the normal family-of-five-in-a-Suburban routine. "A hundred miles a day for five days, no problem. We'll meet you there, Pops."

Pops didn't shoot down the idea. On the contrary, he began helping us plan it. He began peppering us with questions we would need to answer to successfully complete our new mission. "What will you eat? Where will you sleep? What happens if it rains? How will you fix a mechanical issue?" Hmm, maybe this wouldn't be so simple after all.

As the logistical challenges grew, our enthusiasm shrunk. In my imagination, I had envisioned us riding fast and carefree down country roads, out-sprinting dogs, winds always to our backs, miles of infinite sunshine. But reality had begun painting an entirely different picture. This new vision was one of towing a bicycle trailer full of supplies, setting up and tearing down a campsite each night, running out of food that our adolescent metabolisms seemed to crave 24 hours a day, and pedaling endless miles in waterlogged Levis and Stan Smiths.

We never did pin those pesky details to the mat that summer. It was easier to postpone the trip to the following summer, giving us more time to fully plan our grand adventure. The following summer arrived, but our bike ride didn't. Summers passed by, then came college, careers and families, and we never did take that long bike ride. Which brings us to the here and now, still dreaming of that long bike ride, but with a puncher's chance of actually pulling it off.

We'll be posting daily to this blog our progress along the way, hope you enjoy our adventure.

The McBRAAM cast of characters is:

Lance McElhaney: older brother, generally good guy who first proved it was actually possible to ride 100 miles without keeling over, spends most of his cycling season chasing very fast riding mates around the corn fields of Indiana, husband of Monica and father of Hannah and Claire who think he's crazy for sitting on his bike so long and so often, and responsible for all pragmatic thought.

Les McElhaney: younger brother, more than happy to follow in his older brother's footst...er...draft for the entire ride if he can get away with it, generally low on cycling talent but high on enthusiasm, also known as Island Boy for his frequent sorties around the Hawaiian Islands, husband of Kathy the marathoner, and responsible for not getting us lost (too often).

Bill "Pops" McElhaney: father of Lance and Les, drafted into serving as SAG Chief (Support And Gear), happily retired octogenarian, patient as a northern summer day is long, husband of Dolly, responsible for keeping boys from fighting and making them share their toys.

The Route:

Here is the planned route we will follow, if all goes to plan, which it seldomly does.